How to Read at a Wedding by Aisling and Anna

Welcome to our attempt at a Definitive Guide! We're no experts at wedding readings, but we both love it. And we both know what a bad wedding reading looks like. And readers, it can get ugly. Like, the guests looking down at their feet and wishing it could be over ugly.

We are gimpaholics and LOVE reading at weddings. Public speaking + literature = totally excitably nerdy us. However, we know that some people hate public speaking. And that for some, reading at a wedding is the equivalent of being asked to dance, no gyrate naked at a work do. So we thought we’d share some of our failsafe tips for reading at weddings.

(Note: We have seriously considered forming a “Rent A Read” in the past...”your ceremony reader let you down? Phone us for a fail-safe backup!”. We’d do it, as well. We’d have a minivan, with a flashing blue light, and race up the M6 to your venue, ready to deliver Shakespearean-style. We’d have an array of outfits and accessories to hand so we’d never clash with your bridesmaids, and we'd have my “who are you, again?” line down pat: (we're your cousin’s wife’s lesbian best mates).

Voilà! Our knowledge awaits:

1. Be grateful and happy you’ve been picked to read. Even if you’d rather have your eyes poked out with burning coathangers than read in front of strangers, at least pretend to be excited. This is a huge honour and the happy couple have chosen YOU. Be respectful of that.

2. With point 1. in mind, if you really would rather poke out your eyeballs with burning coathangers, say so. We don't mean if you think 'oh, but I'll be embarrassed and people will be looking at me'. These are sensible fears and you can overcome these. But if we're talking a blotchy chest, sweaty palms, uncontrollable shaking AND you really don't want to do it then you must tell the bride and groom as soon as possible. Be honest, be upfront and don't get emotional. They'll thank you for it.

3. Once you know what the reading is, know the context in which your reading lies. Is it a passage in a book? What’s the book about, and what does the passage mean? Aisling read Chaucer for English literature A-level. She hated him. Her teacher told her she had no soul, and commanded she go home and research the stories, and study the language. She fell in love.

Honestly, you’ll deliver it much better if you know what you’re saying actually means. Otherwise it’s just dry repetition of words. And the congregation may drift off.

4. It may be a no-brainer, but practice. Weeks before, if you can. In front of the mirror, in front of the husband, in front of anyone who’ll listen. This might seem insane, and unnecessary, but you’ve been asked to be a part of a hugely important part of someone else’s life. Practicing is the least you can do. Plus, practice builds fluency and confidence. Anna once read “If” at a wedding. It was the first poem she’d ever read aloud. She practised lots and proudly read it in front of Mr K, in their sitting room.

“It’s ok”

“What do you mean, it’s “ok”? It’s one of the nation’s most popular pieces of poetry. It’s supposed to be rousing”

“The way you read it. It was bland. You paused at the end of every line”

Ah ha! The penny dropped. Anna never did A-level English, much to her chagrin, and hadn’t realised poems ran over the ends of lines, and pauses happened naturally, where they sounded best. So practice she did. And on the next reading, got a “better”. Which from Mr K, is the equivalent of a squeal and a bearhug. And on the day, she nailed it and people told her they got goosebumps. Aim higher than “ok”.

5. Get to the stage in your practice where you know the reading well enough so you can look up from the reading every so often and direct a line to the audience. They love it, and you’ll look pro. Direct your voice at the person who sits furthest away, and at a level where they can hear comfortably. That’s comfortably, you don’t want to deafen anyone.

6. Cut out some card that matches your outfit. Stick the reading on the card. Make notes on the text – pause here, enunciate this word, and you know...if something’s hard to pronounce, look it up. Seriously. Anna went to one wedding where the reader couldn’t pronounce promulgation. We understand that it’s not everyday lexicon, but still...flipping through a dictionary takes 5 seconds, folks.

No, this is not Anna and Mr K on their recent trip to Kefalonia, but rather the film of the book from where promulgation is taken.

On the day….

7. Don't forget to bring your reading. Aisling made beautifully laminated and bordered copies of her wedding readings. And forgot them. One reader had hers on a tatty piece of paper, the other had nothing. Aisling and Phil had to choose a wedding reading from the registrar's folder at the last minute. Ok, ok, they still got married, and the universe did not go into freefall, but this story broke Anna out in hives. Be prepared!

8. Wardrobe helps. Wear something you feel confident being viewed from all angles in, and shoes that you won’t wobble through nerves in. Anna once read a loooong Dr Seuss reading (4 minutes IS LONG) in the highest of high heels. And her knees were knocking. She had to stick my bum out and tense her thigh muscles to get them to stop. Not a good look.

9. Speak slower than you think you need to. Nerves will make you trip over your words and sound like a Chipmunk on crack. Slow. it. down.

10. Look at the bride and groom. Smile at them. We mean really smile. You’ve prepared, you look damn hot, you will blow this reading out of the water, and you know what? You will enjoy it.

The simply phenomenal Rachel Malham reading a re-write of "The Invitation" at Anna's wedding.